Three Doorbells

Mrs. Perch exited the sedan and and smoothed the front of her navy linen suit. She checked the address on the slip of paper in her hand and then strode down the sidewalk. She stopped in front of a colorfully painted mailbox and checked the number. She had found the right place.

The house was surrounded by a low stone wall with an arbored gate with Wisteria growing over it. In one corner of the yard was a large oak tree. A curvy stone path led up to the house. One could only describe the house itself as looking overstuffed. The sides bowed outward slightly. Mrs. Perch wasn't sure if that was by design, or simply a matter of poor craftsmanship and the long term effects of gravity trying to pull the upper level closer to the first level. On the roof of the house was a winged heart weather vane.

Growing on either side in front of the house was a profusion of flowers bordered by what appeared to be broken china plates sticking up to form a scalloped edging. Beyond that was an inviting front porch with two wicker chairs and a matching table that had a vase of lilacs on it.

Mrs. Perch ran a hand over her impeccably coiffed silver hair and marched up to the front door. There was a hand painted sign adorned with roses that read:

For Business Inquiries Ring Here

Below it was a doorbell. Further down was a similar sign to the first. It read:

For Deliveries Ring Here

A second doorbell was below this sign. Below that was another sign that read:

If You Have Come To Visit Miss Olivia Ring Here

Below that was a third doorbell, and at the very bottom was a final sign that read:

If You Have Come To Visit The Captain You Don't Need To Ring, Just Come In

Mrs. Perch found that rather odd. She had never seen a house with three doorbells before, and she couldn't imagine who the Captain was or why his visitors didn't have to ring. She reached up and rang the uppermost bell.

When the door opened she stood there staring for much longer than was polite, but she couldn't help herself. She wasn't prepared for sight that greeted her.

Standing in front of her was a woman of slightly above average height. She was wearing pink kitty slippers, mismatched striped socks, a skirt that appeared to be made from an old quilt, a brightly patterned peacock colored shawl, a pair of thin black glasses, red lipstick, and her hair was twisted into a knot and held in place by chopsticks. On top of her head in front of the chopsticks was a tiara. Wisps of hair were escaping the knot. It was enough to make Mrs. Perch smooth a hand over her own hair again. This had to be the infamous Miss Olivia she presumed.

The Fall Of Alice

It was nice to know the universe had an ironic sense of humor thought Alice as she brushed the dirt and dead leaves from her dress. She surveyed her surroundings the best she could in the dim light. Her eyes hadn't adjusted from the bright daylight seven feet above, and she couldn't see much.

As the shock of the fall began to wear off she reached out her hand to push herself up. It came in contact with something soft and furry and she snatched it back quickly with a little shriek of fear.

She sat still a moment longer reliving the past hour. She had been in the woods trying to find the plants her botany professor had instructed the class to gather. She knew it was foolish to be out there alone, and on top of it, she had been hurrying since she was running late for dinner with her friends.

She hadn't noticed the hole in the ground since it had been partially covered with fallen tree branches and leaves. One minute she had hurrying along what looked to be some semblance of a path and the next she was falling into a dark hole like her fictional namesake.

She finally stood up and took quick mental stock. She felt somewhat bruised but nothing seemed to be broken. She looked around again wondering how to get out, her eyes able to see more now. She spotted the thing her hand had come in contact with. It wasn't moving. She picked up a branch near her feet and poked at it. Nothing. She pulled it closer with the stick.

Her eyes widened when she bent down to pick up the child's toy. She realized it was a dirty old white stuffed rabbit!

"You've got to be kidding!"